Why?

We leave next Wednesday to journey toward what I believe will be a greater understanding Abba Father’s love.  In the midst of looking at three different packing lists, ordering needed items on Amazon’s handy, 2-day shipping with Prime, and making needed phone calls, I found myself stepping aside from it all one day and asking myself the simple question, “Why?”.

All emotion aside, I took a hard, logical look, perhaps from the world’s perspective to introspectively ask, “Why would you adopt a child with a medical need from another country?”  In many respects, this does not make sense.  It does not make sense to consider the potential for multiple doctor’s appointments and possible therapy appointments.  It doesn’t make “logical” sense to willingly welcome a child who had a traumatic first year of life, tapered with many stays in and out of the hospital.  What about the fact that this child will have only understood Chinese, seen Chinese faces, and been hugged by the only “momma(s)” she has ever known in the nannies at the Chinese orphanage?

As I asked these reasonable, logical questions, I then prayed.  Grant it, I wasn’t second guessing the decision to do this.  No.  It was settled in my heart and spirit almost two years ago, and I have not looked back.  But, it was a moment of pondering that deserved a Divine response.  Gently, the Holy Spirit placed on my heart-  “Because that is what I did to you”.

Immediately, I was reminded of the intimate response God gives Israel in Ezekiel 16.  He found Israel, “lying in their own blood”.  They needed to be rescued, clothed, nurtured and loved back into life.  That is an accurate picture of us spiritually before Christ is welcomed into our hearts.  In reality, as believers, we are all adopted.  It didn’t make “logical” sense to be welcomed as strangers into the eternal fold of God’s family (Romans 5:8).  Yet, He loves us.  He calls us His very own.  Even when we don’t understand the language of His love, He gives us holy opportunities to trust.

The moment I take my daughter into my arms on June 8, it will not be like the times the nurse in the hospital, four times over, placed my precious babies into my arms.  Yet, my soul will undoubtedly give a rupture of bliss in like manner.  I just have a feeling that the reality of her being uniquely placed in our arms by Abba Father will be encapsulated with enough of His power to get us through any “Why’s” that she will ask in years to come.  Somehow, John 3:16 already seems to take on a fresh, new meaning.  He gave…and He still does. Zhao Dong Ping 4.17.2015

About ajensen78

I travel through the journeys of marriage, motherhood, ministry and now, adoption. The roads are marked with testimonies of surrender, sacrifice and Holy Spirit filled joy. The "delight" of God's Presence enables each of my steps to see Christ's footprints ahead of me, behind me and beside me.
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